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| so here i am in a starbucks, all alone, abusing their internet privileges as i sit cross-legged on their leather couches with my measley cup of tall mocha frap perching frightfully close to the edge of the table because my oversized laptop along with its deadweight battery has pretty much occupied most of the ridiculously small coffee table. also, it is because the cup is placed beyond the reach of my fully-extended arm and i am just too bloody lazy.
as eventful as how my holidays have been, i know it doesnt justify my long albeit predictable disappearance over the past few months. i just can't seem to find ways to summarize the current ongoings in my life while i rack the creative side ( assuming i even have one ) of my brain for words that are hysterically funny, witty, yet subtle that appeals to 'everyone' to not make my life appear more boring and uninspiring than it already is.
so anyway, i have been watching random videos on Youtube for the last couple of hours ( yes, i have been in starbucks for HOURS ) hoping to stumble across a certain ignition of inspiration. i spent about an hour watching different episodes of Who's Line Is It Anyway. not for inspiration, but because they're coffee-squirt-out-of-nose funny.
oh and have you guys seen Avatar? because i have. in fact i am one of the many impatient morons who just can't wait for a weekday and decides to join the many other morons who, for some reason, seem unfazed by the long lines at the ticketing counter on a Sunday morning. and it wass.... O-kay i guess. well, if you're into masterpieces. all sarcasm aside, it was fucking brilliant! the animations and.. computerised..stuff were fantastic! every wrinkle on their foreheads, every branch that snapped, every morning dew drop, every ducks and dives the Toruk so elegantly achieved in the air, every neuron that fused with another ( you obviously will not get this until you watch the movie ) was so immaculately constructed, so fine and precise, that you would actually feel almost..inspired to get into this whole animation stuff. i know i did. kinda brought tears to my eyes, i think. or maybe it was the guilt of having stuffed my face with thigh-expanding junk food throughout the movie. either way, the whole 2 hours and 45 minutes was considered well spent.
i never knew writing reviews could be so exhilirating. i am now all jumpy and high from expressing my thoughts. i'm usually only jumpy and high when i'm drunk, but then i'm always drunk. so i guess you could technically categorise me as a jumpy and high person. i kid. i'm not always drunk. only on special occasions, i would say. and it just so happens my holidays have been jam-packed with special occasions. i do find my low alcohol tolerance level rather handy when it comes to getting the blood pumping for these special occasions. you get the blood pumping, you naturally have a jolly good time no matter how shitty the event is. although, it kinda sucks to find yourself soaking wet with damp clothing that cling mercilessly onto your skin and smelling like ass the next morning with no memory whatsoever of what went down, only to find out later some genius thought it would be funny to pour Bacardi all over you like salad dressing while you were laying out cold on the bathroom floor last night. wunderbar.
anyway, i tell people i'm swearing off alcohol, but who am i kidding, i love being jumpy and high and in that state of blissful oblivion. besides, intoxication beats stupidity. you could do something incredibly stupid ( which you probably wouldn't have the guts to when you're sober ) and get away with it. anyone could simply point out, ' i shouldn't have gotten so high!! damnit! ' when in fact, your intentions to get high and do something moronic were clear all along.
the aftermath, on the other hand, i can handle. besides, as wrong as it sounds, purging has this amazing effect on allowing oneself to feel slightly thinner than usual. since i've started hitting the gym i feel compelled to lose weight and be so thin, there is a fear of me falling down the drain when showering. i want to hug people and bruise them with my cheekbones. i want my friends to say 'we're worried about you' when they are in fact, secretly jealous. i want to eat a sugar cracker and be full. this of course will never happen due to my current obsession with sickeningly delicious junk food. things shall be different next year though, bread will be the enemy and greens will be the new black.
oh god...i am going to die.
but seriously, let's say you sleepwalk in the middle of the night and find yourself raiding the fridge with no control over your body whatsoever..and if no one saw you gorging down handfuls of maltesers and honey-coated cornflakes, the calories don't really count.....right?
wow do i ramble or what. aren't you glad you aren't my best friend who's sole duty is to lend a sympathetic ear for my complaining or a shoulder to cry on?
with lave,
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| i hate food i hate food i hate food i hate food i hate food. i am convinced that if i say it often enough it will eventually become a fact.
sigh stress. im so hungry.
lazy to blog.bye.
ravenously yours,
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| Lame Customer Service
ever look around a department store for something but can't find it. you look around for a clerk to help you. there are a few but they're "busy" talking on the phone, stocking or on their way to another part of the store. you know they saw you but are just ignoring you by trying to look busy. idiots..pisses me off.
Drivers who take up the fast lane
drive slow in the fast lane if you want to, just don’t drive slow in the fast lane right next to someone driving slow in the slow lane. it’s like a competition to see how slowly they can pass each other. and don’t flip me off because I flash my lights at you after waiting 5 minutes for you to move over.
People who flash their lights at me because I won’t get out of the fast lane
can’t you see I’m just moving with the flow of traffic? i always want to flip those jerks off.
Peeing All Over Public Toilet Seats
i’m only going to say this once. you CANNOT catch a goddamn thing from a toilet seat, not even if you lick it. so just sit down and stop leaving a mess that ensures no one will be able to sit on the bloody toilet. i’m sick of cleaning up after you, and yeah, i do that, because there is no way i’m gonna hover over the toilet like a UFO about to abduct someone. i’m tired and i want to sit down. so knock it off, can?!
Korean dramas
boy likes girl. girl likes boy. girl plays hard to get. boy gets girl. girl has cancer. girl dies. boy cries. yawn.
Starbucks
i hate to admit it, but i love Starbucks. hate the prices tho, and very rarely go there anymore because of it, but the reason i love it is because i know exactly what i'm going to get. a very orgasmic cup of coffee jelly frap. ( mm i could really use one right now.. ) but i hate it when the dude behind the counter asks me if i want to add another buck to make it a venti and proceeds to push you for another buck to make it a grande. it's bad enough that i'm spending my lunch money on overpriced caffeine so stop tempting me already!
Missing sock
there's always that missing sock which mysteriously disappears after one night in the dryer or washing machine. honestly where do they go? mind boggling, really.
Who sang it again?
It's annoying when I hear an interesting song or a familiar song that I don't know the song of. It's usually a while before I find out the title & the artist who sings it.
Bumper stickers
this quote from Demitri Martin pretty much sums it up for me: “I don’t mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It’s like a little sign that says ‘Hey, let’s never hang out.’”
iPod Headphones
i don't understand. how do they tangle so bad? it takes only a matter of minutes it seems like before your earbuds are tangled in a way you couldn’t even recreate if you tried. sien.
People who can’t find anything better to do than complain
k i’ll shutup now.
with lave,
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this is me exhibiting my face contaning 65.4% of make up.
and this is me with approx 45% of make up. the pick patches on my forehead are hardly microscopic without concealer.
i need a haircut..
if you're hoping for a picture of me without any makeup at all then you can go to bed my friend, and dream..because the fact is, i look like ass without the trusty aid of cosmetics. sigh 
and i think it's safe to say that Megan Fox is practically flawless. mah de..
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| www.twitter.com/tienning i currently have 25 followers. i feel like moses. well, almost. | | |
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